Chrimeny Christmas: When is the cleaning service supposed to get here?
(Daniel Michael Donovan is slow to respond. He's currently looking through a bunch of video tape footage from the security cameras.)
Daniel Donovan: In a half hour...Oh wait, here we are.
(He and Chrimeny look at the footage and see Bianca Autumn breaking into the extremely large house. Chrimeny begins to laugh. Sure she's mad about the vandalism, but some things are starting to make sense now.)
Chrimeny Christmas: Why am I not surprised that Bianca is my stalker? It makes sense. Still if she had wanted an autograph she could have just asked. Guess when she saw I wasn't home her little stalker mind couldn't handle it. All that pressure in her tiny head caused her to commit some crimes. How sad.
Daniel Donovan: Do you want me to call the police?
(She thinks about it for a moment before waiving a hand.)
Chrimeny Christmas: I don't think putting another notch on her criminal record will teach her anything. Yes I'm upset about the damage done to the room, but that's not what bothers me the most.
(Daniel wonders what could bother her most, but doesn't bother to ask her. She'll end up saying it anyway. That's how she is.)
Chrimeny Christmas: No, what's truly disturbing are some of my panties are missing. I'm scared to think of what she's doing with them at her home now. That's just gross.
(He shakes his head.)
Daniel Donovan: Maybe she's mere framed them on her wall.
(She makes a face at his words.)
Chrimeny Christmas: I doubt it. You know how stalkers are. She's probably molesting them as we speak. That sort of thing is as natural to a stalker as collecting hair from someone's brush or bottling their own urine in their basement.
(She pauses as she has thoughts of Bianca and her disgusting stalker lifestyle. After a moment she manages to clear her head and regain her composure.)
Chrimeny Christmas: Maybe we should seek some professional help for her. We could get lucky and she could get shock therapy...or a lobotomy. No, wait, I think she's had one of those. Hmmm, I have an idea.