Coloring Outside The Battle Lines

Chrimeny: I think you all know why I called you to this meeting.

(Chrimeny Christmas stands at the front of the conference room in her Arizon mansion. Her blonde curls are tied back in a professional looking manner. A pink, pin-striped, business skirt-suit adorns her curvacious form. As she looks over those assembled for tonight's business a grim look crosses her features.)

Chrimeny: A nefarious plot is being formulated that will not only threaten my wealth, but my very safety. The question is, what can we do to take preventative action?

(It's not long before a member of this "safety" commitee asks a question. She listens for about five seconds before cutting them off abruptly.)

Chrimeny: Stop! Stop. Do you mean to tell me you aren't aware of the imminent danger? Idiot!

(She begins pacing angrily while dressing her employee down.)

Chrimeny: What do I pay you for? I mean honestly. Must I always take care of everything myself? Please, work with me here.

(Her beautiful eyes bitterly plead with him to do a better job.)

Chrimeny: I'm only one person people. I can't do it all.

(She stops with a sigh and brushes one loose curl away from her face. After regaining her composure she gets back to business.)

Chrimeny: With this threat looming over my head I'm going to need as much intelligence information as you can gather. I-...

(The door suddenly opens and in walks personal assistant/friend, Daniel Michael Donovan. He doesn't even get a chance to speak before she loses all composure. Her serious, business-like exterior disappears instantly revealing spoild, child-like nature. She stomps her foot as an angry pout floods her attractive face. Her voice becomes whiny in the way a child's does when not getting their way.)

Chrimeny: Daniel! How could you do this to me again? Why is it everytime I try to do something all important and stuff do you have to come in and make me look all bad in front of my employees? Couldn't you like wait for me to finish? You're the worstest employee evers!

(He shrugs while refraining from comment by biting his lip. This is an everyday thing with her. Half the time he does this to her on purpose. Today isn't one of those times. He's not in the mood for a headache. She always acts like she's doing important things. She hasn't been into her real company's office in a month. He's not worried about how either of them look in front of these employees. Why? Because they are all STUFFED ANIMALS!

He looks over her gathering of stuffed employees. It's a sea of of plush. Each toy sits in its own chair dressed in little business suits. Their lifeless eyes staring back at him devoid of both soul and animation. In the front row sits a stuffed seal wearing a graduation cap and large beanie buddy bat. Mr. Sealy and Battle. Those are the ones she talks to the most currently. Mr. Sealy she's owned for years. He's her confidant and she leaves him in charge of her other stuffed animals on a regular basis. Battle, on the other hand, well, she's new. Battle is short for Battallia. This cute, stuffed creature is what Chrimeny considers to be her field general and war time advisor. Chrimeny doesn't trust her though. She thinks Battle might be evil. Like this stuffed toy is awaiting the opportunity to stab her in the back with some grand, evil scheme. He rolls his eyes but doesn't answer his boss' tantrum-laced question.)

Chrimeny: Fine don't explain your actions you big meany. After all I've done for you and stuff I can't believe you'd be such a jerk.

(Great. At this rate she's going to go full pity party while playing the role of the victim. Exasperated she rubs her eyes.)

Chrimeny: So what is so important that you just had to interrupt me again?

Daniel: Miss Christmas I have news you'll want to know. Blonde Ambition has returned to the SWA at the same time as you. They popped up in CCW. I figured you'd want to know about your..."friend"...Bianca.

(A big smile plays across Chrimeny's full lips. Her near obsession with Bianca Autumn still boggles his mind. Bianca hates Chrimeny. Chrimeny spent a few months annoying the crap out of her doing and saying horrible things to the woman while claiming to be her best friend. Better Chrimeny annoys her than him he figures. Chrimeny removes a wrinkled paper doll from her pocket that resembles Bianca Autumn. After a year and a half she still plays with that damn thing.)

Chrimeny: Did you hear that Bianca Doll? That's great news.

(Chrimeny then speaks for the doll in a high pitched voice.)

Bianca Doll: I came back cause you're my bestest friend ever Miss Chrimeny. I wish I could be like you and I'm like madly in love with you. Though you've asked me to stop stalking you I just can't help it. You're the bestest wrestle chick ever!

Chrimeny: I know Bianca Doll.

(She turns back to Daniel with that pleased smile still pronounced on her face.)

Chrimeny: I so completely forgive you Daniel. Now go find me her number and address in New Orleans. I gotta send her a present and all and say hi. She'll be so spectastically thrilled to hear from me and stuff.

(He just leaves while can before her mood changes. She returns to talking to her stuffed animals.)

Chrimeny: Okay back to business. Yes I have a match tomorrow, but I'm prepared for that. A larger menace exists. His name is El Generico.

(She listens to the plush animals gasp and murmer among themselves. In reality the room is as silent as a cemetery.)

Chrimeny: He's the one plotting against me I just know it. My proof is so unrefutable. For one, I'm pretty sure he's poor, and of course, you know what that means. He's all evil and smelly and a criminal and stuff. On top of that he wears a mask. Which means he's probably a burgler or a bank robber type baddy. We can't let him steal my house, or my socks, or something. If we can stop him not only will we save me, but also the world from his dirty, dirty, evil ways.

(Pausing for a moment she launches into her plans.)

Chrimeny: So here's the plan folks. Folks. I like that word, folks. So here's the plan folks. Battle you organize the troops for a recon maneuver deal and I'll sit back and be tactical support person. We'll form a full strategy and activiate this operation in a few days. Till then peoples get some R&R. This mission will be dangerous so I suggest you take these couple days of relaxation to write your loved ones and tell me how you feel about me. I am your loved one afterall. So meet back with me here in two days for final planning. The meeting will be at noon unless I sleep later. You're dismissed.

(Quietly she walks over and whispers into where she thinks the seal's ear might be.)

Chrimeny: Be careful and keep your eye on Battle. You know she can't be trusted Mr. Sealy. Let me know if she does anything strange.