Diary Ah

Dear Diary,

It's your favoritest person again, Chrimeny Christmas. You know I'm the only one allowed to write you in. You would think you'd automatically know it was me then, but I still make sure to tell you every time. So anyway this guy who thinks he's a plate came and bugged me. I think his name was Nathan or something. I wasn't really listening to him talk. It was really boring. I think he was trying to convince me that he was more than just a plate and would someday become fine china. Fine china would never be that rude. I think he's more like a paper plate, but that's just me. He seemed to want to help me, but I already own a bunch of plates. Now if he were a blowtorch I could definitely use another one of those...but Daniel and Lelani get all upset if I even mention one. Sheesh.

I've decided to hire a private detective. Bianca has been missing far too long and who knows what that hairy chested Alicia has done with her. It took me awhile to find the right one. Most of the ones I met coudln't possibly be what they say they are as they looked nothing like the movies. I eventually found one that did though and hired him on the spot. He told me he wasn't one, but there's no way he isn't. I looked at him. I can tell. I gave him some money and told him he couldn't go back to his home till my bestest friend was found. This is so gonna work out. I should become a private eye. I'd look awesome in a pink trench coat and fedora. Note to self, buy pink trench coat and fedora.

So far the office of CPW hasn't answered me about my set of rules. They've been letting everybody break them. Everytime I go out to the ring people do those wrestling move thingies on me. I tried to tell them that those hurt, but nobody seems to be listening. I have like 3 bruises as I write this. I was worried they'd have to amputate my leg due to the bruising, but Lelani says they'd have to be a little more purple for that. So that was a relief.

Yesterday I saw a bird.

So, yeah, uhm, oh I'm making a huge cardboard castle in my favorite living room. Fingerpainting each section is taking forever. When it's done I'm going to make someone dress up in a dragon suit so I can slay them with a spear. Daniel says it's not legal to impale people with a spear. I told him to get someone poor, they're not really people anyway. I mean it's not rocket surgery. Maybe I should be a rocket surgeon when I grow up. Well I'm gonna go to bed now. It's been a long day of trying to save the world from all the no good baddies. Take care diary. You know who loves you. That's right, me.

Sincerely the bestest wrestle chick ever,

Chrimeny Christmas

PS: Gosh dang I'm awesome.