After an exhausting day with "The Fashionplate" Nathan Boyd, Chrimeny has decided to unwind. Unfortunately she finds herself very uncomfortable in her new, less than lavish, room at the hotel. She may be stuck staying here, but she's made sure her assistants got her some of her supplies. Off to her side is a pile of scrap paper that has seen the wrong end of a pair of scissors. Her tongue pokes out through her lips as she furiously colors her artwork. After a few minutes she tosses her crayon down and stares down at the papers. Wiping sweat from her brow, as if she had made some kind of laborious effort, she smiles.
Chrimeny Christmas: Perfect. Now that it's done, I can play. Yay!
She happily pulls everything off the table before working on setting something up. That something appears to be a miniature play set. The odd thing is it looks similar to the hotel room Boyd is forcing her to stay in. Then slowly she hobbles a paper doll in that looks like herself. Same outfit and all.
Chrimeny Doll: Phew, what a long day. I know, I think I'll like have a tea party and stuff.
She places a tiny, paper teapot onto her paper doll with a thin piece of tape. That's when the unthinkable happens...Chrimeny Doll is interrupted. A paper doll looking very much like "The Fashionplate" Nathan Boyd is slowly walked in. For some reason though she's dressed him all in purple...and there's a plate on his head. A plate made of paper. A paper plate. Did I mention paper? Anyway so the doll with a plate on his head slides into the scene. Chrimeny Doll gasps. Then he speaks, but his voice is Chrimeny trying to imitate Boyd's.
Platehead Doll: Not so fast Chrimeny Doll. I've told you that you are no longer allowed to have any fun. Fun is not stylish you know.
Platehead knocks the paper teapot from Chrimeny Doll's hand. Chrimeny Doll cries over the abuse.
Platehead Doll: Training continues! Now, why did you decide to become a wrestler? You're rich. You could have become anythings you wanted to and stuff. You could've been a princess, or a pirate, or a princess, or a unicorn...
Chrimeny Doll interrupts what he's saying. If a paper doll could have expressions Platehead's would not be happy.
Chrimeny Doll: You said princess twice.
She bends Platehead's neck as if to make him nod.
Platehead Doll: That was on purpose cause you are the most beautifullest person in the world...I mean grrr I'm mean and stuff. No fun. Now, back to my important stuff. Why did you become a wrestler?
Chrimeny Doll: That's easy. I know the answer to that one. Because my mission is to save the world from such terrible evil things as having a bad time. Having a bad time is no fun. People shouldn't have to suffer like that. Also I wanna save it from poor, smelly criminals full of yuckiness in their hearts. Poor people are no fun. They should have to suffer. Oh and cause I look super cute in my wrestling outfit.
She makes Platehead jump up and down cause he's very mad. Yep yep.
Platehead Doll: Grrr style and stuff! Blah grah bra! No like answer! Plate on my head! Style!
Chrimeny Doll cowers in the corner of the set as Platehead loses his mind. Then out of nowhere another paper figure flies in and kicks him in the head. Platehead goes sliding to the other side of the set and his plate falls off his head. The other doll gets a special doo da doo doo tune called out and it's revealed to be a doll that resembles "Fearless" Jackson Hughes.
The Doll Without Fear: I'm the Doll Without Fear. Fear me Platehead. You talk to girls. Not cool man. Not cool.
Chrimeny Doll jumps out of the corner and hobbles her way to him.
Chrimeny Doll: Hey you can't do that!
The Doll Without Fear: ...but I just saved you?
Chrimeny Doll: Only I can do that to him. He was like almost teaching me something. Now how am I supposed to almost learn something unimportant?
This really deflates the Doll Without Fear. He was totally counting on the fact he was saving her. She's not happy in the slightest though.
The Doll Without Fear: Uhm..well...tea anyone?
He doesn't get his answer as two more dolls come running in....okay so it's not exactly running. It's more of a really fast hobble. The doll in front appears to be running from the other doll. The one in front resembles Grace E, though he has a big shoe print on his crotch. Presumably the footprint is from his pursuer. A doll looking very much like Lady Caroline Ogilvy-Nash.
Lady Caroline Doll: Get back here! I've detected you need another kick in the junk...oh wait I'm like British and stuff. (clears throat) I've detected you need another kick in the fish and chips! Yeah that's the ticket. Oh hey, tea time.
The Doll Without Fear: Brits love tea you know....what? They do.
Chrimeny Doll leaps up and tears off the head of the Doll Without Fear. Being in two pieces, his services are no longer needed in this story. She sweeps him off the set.
Chrimeny Doll: That's for hurting Platehead you no good baddy! Plus I can only handle having so much company at once. You know that whole 4's a crowd thing...or was it 3? Anyway, yeah take that.
Gracey Doll: Chrimeny Doll you are the bestest wrestle chick ever and you're like my personal hero. Please save me from Lady Caroline Big Last Name Doll. She wants to put more footprints on the front of my pants. I don't want her to cause it hurts.
Gracey Doll bursts into tears. Chrimeny Doll looks as sternly as a paper doll can over at Lady Caroline Doll. Lady Caroline Doll almost seems to shrug. Almost.
Lady Caroline Doll: What? He started it.
Chrimeny Doll: Fair enough.
Gracey Doll: Wait what?
His fears are realized when both female dolls stomp on him. Chrimeny crumples up the Grace E doll for added effect before flicking him off the table.
Chrimeny Doll: I only helped you cause I've got my good stomping shoes on and I hadn't gotten to use them and stuff. That doesn't mean I want you to steal my teapot and then come investigate its theft. That's just mean trickery stuff.
Lady Caroline Doll: I would never do that you Miss Chrimeny. I know I'm a dirty criminal, but please try to forgive me. It's only because I'm British that I act this way. We don't know any better. Please share your tea with me. They tell us in England that your tea is the bestest tea ever made.
Chrimeny Doll's head is slowly moved back and forth as if she's shaking her head.
Chrimeny Doll: Sorry. No can do non-American lady. I can't trust you with all those last names. Nope nope nopa. How do I know you're not hiding a weapon in all those names? Exactly, I don't. I can't share my tea with you, but I will not attack you for I feel kinda bad that you are European and stuff. Sometimes like God can be mean, but I mean everyone can't be me afterall. For now go hide in an attic and keep a diary like Hellen Keller.
Then a voice calls from offstage. Okay so the voice isn't offstage since Chrimeny is doing all the voices, but the doll definitely isn't currently on stage.
Voice: If you won't attack her I will. I'm hear to take everything both of you own mwahahahaha.
A doll looking like Busby Lennox swoops into the scene. Only he has on a black cape and has a bunch of drawing on his face for no real reason. Being that he's the villain in this scene though it works. Also in his had is a stack of paper t-shirts.
Bubsy Lummox Doll: After I steal all your stuff I'd really appreciate it if you bought my t-shirt. I just really want everyone to wear them instead of other people's shirts. Really. Wear my shirt. You have been warned! Yeah I totally pulled off my catch phrase thingy.
A Lance Fane doll wanders into the scene randomly.
Lance Fane Doll: Hey, uhm...anyone seen the Doll Without Fear?...no...sorry...continue your evil monologue shirt guy.
Then he wanders out as quickly as he came in. He's almost as elusive as the never seen Laura Luchadora Doll. Anyway back to the evil at hand.
Lady Caroline Doll: We will so never wear one of your shirts! They would so clash with our outfits. I'm detecting that you should run away before Chrimeny Doll starts and finishes her tea.
Now is not the time for tea little dolls. A paper constructed madman is on the loose and he's pushing t-shirts! You must stop him. As if sensing the insane narration to this tale, they move in to attack. Unfortunately Bubsy Lummox Doll heard the narration as well and he knocks Chrimeny Doll back. He and Lady Caroline Doll go at it. As in FIGHTING sickos. How do paper dolls fight furiously? They get shaken around a lot next to each other while colliding repeatedly. After a minute of instense, paper combat Lady Caroline Doll falls to the ground..err table. Then Bubsy Lummox Doll kicks her off the edge heartlessly.
Bubsy Lummox Doll: You should have just bought the t-shirt lady.
Chrimeny Doll gets back up angrily after seeing the evil atrocity committed before her paper eyes.
Chrimeny Doll: How dare you come in my crappy hotel room and kill some person I've never met. That's just wrong. Now I'll never know if english muffins make you talk all funny like her. Prepare to be shredded sir!
Bubsy Lummox Doll: Oh I think not fair Chrimeny Doll. Though you are beautiful, deadly, pretty, spectacular, borderline amazing, and have to struggle with your awesomeness on a daily basis, I can't let you live after what you've witnessed and stuff. You would try to get me locked up or put in a poor person camp. I can't allow that. I've got t-shirts to distributes.
Suddenly he folds one of those t-shirts into a blade and prepares to throw it at her.
Bubsy Lummox Doll: Prepare yourself Pretty Pretty Princess Champion. For tonight you meet your maker!
He throws the shirt/blade. Well not really a throw. Chrimeny's fingers guide it towards Chrimeny Doll in a very slow fashion. Slow enough for Platehead to jump in front of the blade and thus be stabbed himself. He falls to the ground, well kinda half floats due to the air, but either way he's on the ground in front of Chrimeny Doll. Platehead Doll cries while making a lot of choking sounds that go on for way too long. Then he whispers very loudly to Chrimeny Doll.
Re...remember...no....fuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn.....ocklhklanlk
That last sound was totally him choking to death. I know, gross. Couldn't agree with you more. Pretty sure it was on his blood. Anyway, back to the story. So Platehead Doll sacrificied himself to save our beautiful hero doll.
Bubsy Lummox Doll: Ewww. Someone scrape him off the table...try to save the shirt if you can, though.
Chrimeny Doll: I'm so not listening to you. You killed what's his name. I don't like that kinda thing!
Chrimeny Doll beats Bubsy Lummox Doll to death with a stack of his own shirts then tosses them all off the side of the table. Then she hobbles back to main part of the set while yawning.
Chrimeny Doll: Phew, what a long day. I really need a bubble bath. Where's the Calgon people when I need them?
Then Chrimeny just sets down her doll and stands up from the table in her hotel room. Her paper doll session completed as much as he she wants it to be. She looks over to one of her assistants and speaks very matter of factly.
Chrimeny Christmas: So yeah, that's how my day went.
Her assistant, Lelani, sits there in shock at this being how Chrimeny decided to explain her day. That's what her boss considers an accurate re-enactment of the days events.
Lelani: Wow....
Chrimeny Christmas:...give or a take a death or two.