In a pink, plush chair sits Chrimeny Christmas. For more than two hours she's been motionless in front of a large television. It's the longest she's ever sat still in her life. Credits roll before her eyes, but she remains silent. She's never seen a movie that was made after 1989. She felt they had too much foul language and graphic sex scenes and had no interest in them before. Her recent battle with Ataxia has driven her to break her own rule. She likened him to Scarecrow from Batman. Having only seen the animated series she felt she didn't know enough about the character and decided to remedy that issue. She has just watched Batman Begins....and it has blown her fucking mind. As the credits end so does her stunned silence. She rises calmly to her feet and turns towards her assistant, Daniel Michael Donovan. Her tone is serious.
Chrimeny: Alfred, we have work to do.
He can't restrain from doing a double take at her words.
Chrimeny: I have to become a symbolism. I can't do that as just a super amazing, attractive woman. To the basement!
She leaps over to him and grabs him by the shirt before pulling him to the basement. In the basement she surges him to sit at the computer. He does so reluctantly. She leans over him.
Chrimeny: Okay now do that thing where you like order the stuff I need from China, but I want to skip the part where you break my mask with a bat so do it right the first time.
He sighs before searching the internet to find her desired items. He knows Lelani wouldn't have helped her do this. She also wouldn't approve of him doing so. If he's lucky she'll be the one dealing with the outcome of this latest fantasy. Chrimeny appears satisfied that he is searching and gives him a tiny bit more space.
Chrimeny: Let me know when you find it. I'll be in the garage....making a machine that builds throwing stars in batshape.
With that said, she is gone. He can already feel a headache forming above his left eye.
Daniel: This is going to be bad.
A few days later he watches from the yard as she rushes to the garage carrying a large box. She bursts through the door and trips on the frame. She and the box spill to the floor inside. Out of his sight. Surprisingly there is no crying or whining heard over the fall. A minute later the door slams shut. At first he's bewildered, but slowly it dawns on him. For once she isn't bothering him. She doesn't want anything from him.
Daniel: Oh this is like a vacation.
He doesn't hesitate. He heads inside and changes into his swim trunks before going to the inside pool. Laying on an inflatable pool chair begins to relax him. He's almost scared to enjoy the feeling. At any moment she could appear and ruin it all. Part of him doesn't trust the good feeling he is experiencing. Slowly the feeling spreads throughout him and he begins to relax. The movement of his chair on the water only serving to soothe him further. After a couple of hours he heads back inside only to find it's quiet there too. The absence of Chrimeny is not unlike a gift from God. He keeps waiting for her to appear and ruin his great day. She doesn't show up when he's eating dinner. She's not there to ruin a movie. No sign of her when he's reading his book. It's the greatest day ever. He doesn't bother to find and check on her. This is his day. He goes to bed and falls asleep with a wonderful smile on his face. He doesn't even dream. It's perfect. A few hours into his perfect slumber everything changes. Something feels wrong. He stirs. He's got to fight it. It's pulling him away from the greatest sleep he's ever had. He struggles and loses. His eyes fly open to see another set of eyes staring down at him from inches away. Involuntarily he jumps and screams. He's held down by the weight of someone's body and a hand covers his mouth. The face of his attacker has weird angles to it that add to his panic and discomfort. Then a feminine, raspy voice talks in hushed harsh tones.
Attacker: I am the Batprincess.
Reality comes crashing down on him. Fear gives way to anger. Chrimeny. He screams in frustration and throws her off of him. He hears her hit the floor. Quickly he turns on the lamp and looks down at the floor, but finds no one there. For a moment he wonders if it was just a dream brought on by years of psychological torture working for her, but then notices a foot sticking out form under his bed.
Daniel: Really? Really?! Go to bed Chrimeny. I..I can't do this right now.
A muffled, raspy voice is heard from under the bed.
Voice: Uhm, I'm not Chrimeny. I'm the Batprincess. Also you don't know I'm here. I've so become one with the night and stuff and so I'm invisible. Quit talking to yourself and go to sleep. Thank you.
Daniel: Chri...I mean Batprincess. I can't sleep if you're just going to climb on my bed and stare at my face from two inches away again.
She manages to keep her batcomposure, but does sigh heavily.
Batprincess: I'm totally going to leave when you turn off the light. I won't be invisible anymore if I come out when you're watching...duh!
If it will get her out of his room he'll play along. He turns off the light and watches the floor while his eyes try to adjust. A figure slowly emerges from under the bed. It moves towards the door. Finally. If he's lucky he'll still find peaceful sleep. Then all hope of that is lost as a flashlight comes on. Her face is illuminated. She's not wearing the Batman costume he had ordered her...well not exactly. Apparently the reason she wasn't heard from all day was she was turning it from black to pink. A pink cowled face stares towards his nightstand rather than at him. She talks, but it's not to him at all. All he can think of is how disconnected it feels to watch this..well that and how irritating it is.
Batprincess: This weekend the Batprincess and Freedom Kid are going to put an end to your reign of terrors and the other bad stuff you guys do. I've already defeated Scarecrow. Now we face Bane and Calendar Man. Your days are numbered Calendar Man.
She has to stop to giggle a little before regaining her serious bat persona.
Batprincess: We know your games. We can and will stop you. In doing so we will have saved those poor tag titles from your super evil clutches. Get ready to cry cause we're gonna stomp on your heads when we do the Batdance you no good baddies. Once the titles are around the waists of proper heroes like us we are gonna hop in my Batprincessmobile and celebrate our heroical deeds with a romantic salad bar dinner. Just thought I'd give you the opportunity to stop being all stinky and evil now. Let you turn in your stolen titles. If you don't then you're gonna have a bat time.
She pauses for a moment and is about to speak again when Daniel finally throws a pillow that hits her in the head and knocks her to the floor. Well to the floor after the back of her head hits the door. Her voice grows quieter, but is now more whiny than raspy.