I've tried so hard to let this go Angel, but I can't. It's impossible. I can't save you from me just like you can't save you from yourself. Our short time together on the run caused us to experience a lot together. You cast our bond aside like so much tissue paper. I brought the woman to you that was your salvation. Ruen. She destroyed the man who had come to kill you. We saved you and Liz. We hid you out. How meaningless it all was to you. Your life was saved by me again when I killed the homeless man who was strangling the life out of you. What did I get for it all of my trouble? What did I get for bothering to care you exist? Captivity, that's what I got. Torture, that's what I was given.
The physical torture I experienced wasn't enough for my government captors though. Oh no. They wanted psychological too. They wanted emotional. They gave me your little note. I'm sure you're holding it now. The one that said you'd get me out. Yet you never came. All I had to look forward to was a savior that would never show...and death. Going over all this in my head is making it hard for me to breathe. I can feel a hollowness, an emptiness, filling my chest. It's the sickness. I can feel it warping my insides, twisting my emotions. Whenever it comes it begins to strip me of my conscience. I'm okay with that.
You abandoned me. Forgot about me. Left me to rot! What pisses me off the most though is that I owe you. I have to thank you. Because you abandoned me I found myself. I chuckle to myself while trying to choke down by bitterness. You forced me to accept who I am by leaving me to my fate. I'm going to repay you for it. Don't you worry. My teeth bite down into my lip hard. It isn't long before I can smell iron. I taste blood. My grip tightens on the binoculars as everything replays in my mind once more. I tried so hard to let this all go Angel. You have no idea how hard I've tried. I thought I'd gotten past it, I really did. Then that vision hit me the other night in the hot tub. I know now I can't let it go. You must pay.
Look at you. Just sitting there in your living room all alone. My poor, tortured, little loner. I have such wonderous things to show you. I can feel a crooked smile play across my features as thoughts of bringing you pain pirouette through my thick skull. The thoughts stop for a brief moment as something else crosses my mind. Why are you alone? What happened to Liz? Did she jump ship or did she meet an unfortunate end at the hands of one of your enemies? Not that it matters. You didn't deserve her. I have what you deserve. The only problem that has emerged is how severe your punishment will be. Knowing you you probably already think you've suffered enough. Life was so hard blah blah blah. You don't know what suffering is. Please, please allow me to show you.
I twist my head to the side and feel my neck crack, sending vibrations down my spine. The sensation is invigorating. My muscles stiffen as my body starts trembling. Being this close to you is forcing me to lose my composure. The kind feelings I have had for you are far outweighed by my anger. The betrayal has cut deep. My trouble breathing causes me to choke for a moment. It makes my eyes water. I would wonder if I was starting to cry over the loss of what could have been if I didn't know better. See what you do to me? You really think you are the only one with problems. The only one who has had a hard life. I told you how I grew up. What my life has been. I shared things with you I almost never discuss. Of course you are one of the few I've ever bothered talking to. It was nothing to you though. I wonder if you even listened to me. Maybe you were too busy worrying about how to pity yourself next.
Oh fine. Get out of your chair. Gather your belts close. Guess you're taking them to bed with you. How quaint. I feel as if my insides are being scraped apart. There's a burning in my stomach that I cannot qwell. I'm compelled to hurt you my dear. I need to. My urges will only increase and cause me more pain if I don't. Do you think I like having to spend so much time focused on you? Do you think I want to be out here in a fucking tree watching you? I don't want to constantly think about you. I hate it! Yet, I"m driven to do so. I have to sate my desire for your blood soon or I'm going to lose it. I'm coming apart at the stitches. Still, I'll give you a little more time. A little more time to dwell on whatever misery you bring unto yourself. In the end though you will hurt like I hurt...but will I allow you to live with the pain or end both of our suffering for you?)
Sleep well...
So where is our little whelp?
(Andrea Raven stands across from Darkstar in the middle of his large kitchen. Her crimson hair flows freely over the shoulders of her well built 6'2" frame. Her harsh, pitch black eyes looking at him while she waits for the teapot on the stove in front of her to finish heating to the proper temperature. It's 9pm, meaning they just woke up for another night of hard training. Because of this, the blue and black techno-looking skull that he considers to be his true face hasn't been painted on yet. Still, he must be starting to get used to Andrea being around since normally he never leaves his room without the paint on. His face is a maze of scars. They are so numerous many overlap each other. If ones looks hard they can see that had he chosen another life he probably would have been attractive enough to be a male model. It almost makes one wonder if part of why he was attracted to an existence of combat so that he could remove the face he once saw in the mirror. He looks over at her with his intense, crazed eyes. Their dark blue mass analyzing her as they do everything. His dark, raspy voice lurches forth from his throat.)
You mean Eclipse? Our daughter?
(He's trying to make a point about the way Andrea talks to and about Eclipse, but it obviously falls on deaf ears as she dismisses it.)
Yeah, her, whatever.
(Whatever indeed. He decides to ignore her flippant manner and just answer her question while the teapot signals the water is ready.)
Said she had things to do. She'll be back monday night.
(She pours a large cup of tea for each of them and puts some teabags in them.)
Oh.
(For once he's the more talkative person in a conversation. Normally he'd be the one to barely say anything. He watches as she puts her hair up with chopsticks and wonders how the hell it ended up that she was living here with him. He'd killed her...again. She's obsessed with him in more ways than one. She both wants to love him and destroy him. He hasn't let her into his life or heart in years. It never goes well. In the end she will always try to kill him. She can't help herself. It's become her nature. Her obsessions also cause her to almost look at him as property. She killed Impact just for being around him. She killed Demonica just for being his apprentice, yet she hasn't even made comments about his latest apprentices. It's amazing she's even showing an interest in their daughter. Yet here they both are, functioning under the same roof. Has she started to change? Who knows? Certainly not him.)
Why so interested?
(She snorts in reaction to his question while removing the teabags and throwing them away.)
Do I have to have an ulterior motive in asking about her? Can't I just be curious?
(Handing him a teacup she grabs hers and walks over to the kitchen table before sitting down. He walks over and leans against the wall with his cup in hand.)
Or maybe it's that you care.
(Why he's in the mood to shove her feelings in her face he's not sure. She'll be unpleasant the rest of the day, but it's worth it if it means pushing her buttons. For a moment he's just amazed by how they seem almost like normal humans here for a second. It's just like what he watches on Young and the Restless. Taking a sip of her tea she looks at him in annoyance.)
Or maybe you've finally completely lost yourself to insanity lover.
(He used to hate when she called him that. Hell when she first showed up at his door with Eclipse and they got in a fist fight he bristled at the word. Now he's not so sure he cares. At the same time he has to watch himself. If he lets her too close it may be the end of them both.)
You aren't fooling anyone. I've seen your pride in her...
(She glares at him with bitterness in her harsh gaze. He doesn't let her respond. He'll leave her to stew over that for awhile. Walking off with teacup in hand, he heads back to his room to get ready for the grind he's about to put Mute and Fate through. Yeah, this was a lighter moment between him and Andrea, a moment where they could talk like people supposedly do, but it won't last. How can it? Her obsessions will mostly likely be the undoing of all of this. Then all this happy parenthood stuff will come to an end. He hopes that doesn't happen. For if it does Eclipse will be left to make a decision between them. Or will end up destroyed for being in the middle of it.)