I feel a great sorrow for the things I'm soon to do. Eva was unable to look past her enormous ambition. She couldn't restrain her pathetic ego and its constant need for validation. Trinkets, and adulation, gained through blind arrogance are too much a motivating factor for her to stop and look at reality. Though sadness weighs firmly on my chest, I find myself unable to feel guilt for the carnage to come. I'm giving her exactly what she thinks she wants.
(Her right hand moves from the armrest to the point of her body where the bottom of her chest and the top of her stomach meet. For a moment she looks down at where her hand is placed. Her hand slowly moves back to the armrest as she looks back up.)
The monster inside me wants this. I am aware of that. The thing is, these days I do not feel connected to it. I won't descend into madness. My self control will remain absolute. I can never allow the violence to seep into my heart and poison it. Though I will not restrain my blows, or provide her any quarter, I will not become the beast. My mind and heart will remain calm as I dismantle the physical body of this woman.
(There's a pause. It isn't for dramatic effect. It doesn't appear as if it's designed to allow her to choose her wording. It's as if her mind stops to contemplate the violence itself. Well aware of what is to come.)
I decided to address things. I want my intent behind agreeing to this match to be clear. I want my motivation behind the escalated level of violence that is coming to be completely transparent. I told everyone when I regained my humanity they will not have to watch the shadows in fear that I will emerge and blindside them. I will face everything head on. This is an extension of that.
(Her face, though not smiling, bears no hint of anger. Her body remains still in the chair. The calmness surrounding her isn't one of detachment, but rather one of cool composure. Acceptance of things. Almost peaceful.)
I'll admit that when I agreed to Eva's terms of the match I was emotional in my response. It was difficult not to be with the demands she made of me. Maybe that played a role in my accepting it. I can live with that. The thing is, I'm of opposing perspectives of how I view this match now. There is a part of me that is saddened that she demanded I grant her such a brutal match to feed her ego. It's so soon after regaining the human part of myself. It's so empty. Much like the words that aggressively requested the stipulations. I had felt there was nothing to gain from this beyond heartache for both of us.
Part of me now feels this is not the case. Maybe I'm trying to find a silver lining. It also could be that violence is all I truly know. I hope not. In the end, that part of me is thrilled I took this match. There is no place in the world for the kind of entitlement that Eva displays. Blind ambition is dangerous. Directionless. It's beyond mere arrogance to feel privelaged enough that you can step on everyone in your path to feed your selfish, little desires. To believe everyone was put on this planet to cater to your every, petty whim. These are symptoms of the things I find wrong in the world.
(The strength behind her eyes increases as her gaze on the camera hardens.)
Eva isn't the only person guilty of having this sort of self-serving nature. She's just the one who chose to bring it to my doorstep. She embodies exactly what I'm talking about. It's in her nickname, "the Heartless Bitch". This shows that not only does her character contain these deficiencies, but she displays them proudly. She even claimed a year as her own in some feeble attempt to garner attention when the world didn't bow down to her aspirations. It's because of these qualities I chose to give her the stipulations she so desparately wanted.
I won't lie. I'm not walking into the ring to put on a wrestling exhibition. My purpose in this is solely destructive. I intend to demolish her ambition by crushing her. Do I hope that it will cause her to take a look at her life and make an active choice to strive for something better? Of course I do. Do I believe that will actually happen? No. I go into this match with only one fully defined objective...
(She slowly leans forward. Her eyes fixating completely in front of her.)
...to punish the wicked...
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